Friday, June 17, 2011

last night

brunch: half a greek yogurt (60) with granola (60) and one strawberry (50)
dinner: six pieces of salmon avocado sushi (300), six pieces of spicy tuna (300)
total calories: 770
weight: 114.4
goal: 105 by the end of the summer

goals for the summer
- clean my room.  i think this will need to be put out in phases... i have 6 weeks to clean my room, so that can be split by: desk/under the bed/drawers/dresser/closet/final.  yikes.
- learn more about hinduism
- learn more about kung fu
- learn more chinese
- get to 105

yesterday pat called me.  i miss him a lot.  we talked for an hour just about stuff we wanted to do this summer and his trip to canada and vegas and my trip to singapore and bali.  he wants to surf this summer.  i want to clean my room.  we joked around and talked about having housewarming parties and how we would visit each other.  i was completely serious.  i am not sure if he was, too.  i think he was.  he kept saying, actions speak louder than words.

i told him how i was living with tara and what a disaster we were together.  he mentioned europe and i laughed and said, i'm not going to tell you.  he said, i'll find out eventually.  i said, that's not even the worst thing we've done together.  he said, oo the plot thickens.  i said, those are stories you have to earn.  he said, i will.

after an hour i told him i was going to leave.  he seemed surprised and said, oh... okay.  i told him i would talk to him soon.  he said, yeah call me whenever.  i said, i'll call you next week... i probably won't have anything new to say though (and i laughed).  he said, that's okay... i like talking to you.  and my heart melted a little.

i used to mistake his quietness and reserved nature for indifference... but i think i know him a bit better now.  when he really wants something, he'll ask for it.  in a weird way it's comforting, knowing that he's not saying things that he thinks i want to hear.  though sometimes, i do wish he were more affectionate.  i guess it's better knowing that he's not bullshitting me.